Celebrating Three Decades of Survival: A Reflection

When I was starting my 20s, I feel like having all the time in the world to do anything. This is a recap of the last decade of my life and a reflection.

My goal was heavily shaped by my parents when I was in my early 20s. It's not surprising because I was living with them at that time. At the time I was living with my parents, I used material possession and location of where one is living as a parameter of achievement. I envied my friends that could live, study, travel and work abroad. I envied how easy it was for them to switch country. I was just starting my career as a low pay graphic designer at that time. Slowly, I earned more money and I could save more. Then I moved to Jakarta. Away from my parents. Gradually, my goal, my parameter of achievement, and my perspective of life started to change when I live apart from them.

I was exposed to backpacker's life when I was staying in a hostel during my travel in Singapore. Wordly possession and living location isn't a matter to me anymore. How much I can explore this vast world and experiencing local's living are my new parameter of achievement. That's it. Traveling the world is my goal now.

I find it amazing when I met a backpacker that can travel from one country to another for years and years. Supporting his/her life with any job that he/she can find along the way. Picking up a new languages during the journey, meeting various people, and experiencing life as a local. My decision to work in Singapore, partially because I want to save money with higher exchange currency than my native country. So that I can travel further.

I am grateful that I could save enough money to sustain my life in Singapore during the first 2 months of unemployment. It took two years to save that bloody money and I was nearly bankrupt in the end of the second month. I was ready to pack back to Jakarta and forget about Singapore. Luckily I got my first job. I worked for six months at that company and it was a hell of eye opening experience. What I thought I know enough about graphic design, turned out to be nothing. I realized how ignorant I was about my field of work. I didn't read any book and didn't bother to improve my skills. I resigned from that job and was ready to pack back to Jakarta.

But, my friend convinced my that I can do better in Singapore rather than in Jakarta. I pushed my luck once more. A week later I got a new job. It's not a flattering job because I am making classified advertisement for newspaper and once in a while I do real design job. I said to myself, I am just working for the end result (money). Then I got bored with my Monday to Friday routine. There are questions that keep rumbling in my mind. What am I going to achieve next? Where am I going to be next? Will I be happy with just earning the money? Will I be able to transfer some knowledge to my juniors if I decide to go back to Jakarta?

How shallow it is if I am just working for the money. That means I will learn nothing and just be a so so graphic designer. I won't be proud of myself when I am in my 40s and reflecting back to my 30s. I have to love my job, I have to be more observant when doing the job, I have to be able to do the job efficiently. These are my homework.

I just turned 30 today. I have fulfilled some of the check list I made in my early 20s.

... And I am grateful for it.