Thought About Life (Part 1)

A woman was revived from near death experience. She suffered from flesh eating disease that she contacted when she was on holiday overseas. The doctor had to amputate all of her limbs to save her. She had to be taken care at ICU after the surgery. Her chance of survival was very slim, said the the doctor. Yet, she survived the ordeal.

I put down my newspaper and was wondering why we cling to life. I'd rather be dead than have my arms and legs amputated. My able body is my life. I think we cling to life after we are given life. If we're honest, there's no single soul in this world that voluntarily wants to be born. The starting existence of our lives is predetermined by our biological parents.

I think about life sometimes. I am grateful at one time and ungrateful at other time. Thought about life resurfaced after reading that article. Thought about life in general and my life.

Why are we here? Why were we born? Why do we live? Personally, I am asking myself, do I have to be grateful to be alive? Do I have to live my life for the sake of it? Should I carry on with my life because I am given life? These are some questions that pop up in my head. There is an outburst of emotions when I think about it. Anger, anxiety, fear, rebellious, sad and nihilistic are some that I can list down.

I feel like an ingrate now.

Other people probably are on death row by now and wish that they could avoid it. While others are probably struggling with life threatening disease and wish that they could live a little bit longer by having one of the body part cut off.

... And here I am with an able body and a sound mind, philosophizing about life with nihilistic view.

Part 2